


And I'm Terrified, But The Truth Is This

by Streetlamp_Sunset



Series: Always Be My Baby [4]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hand Jobs, Hot Tub Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Intercrural Sex, Light Praise Kink, M/M, Magical Realism, Panic Attacks, Patrick Brewer loves David Rose, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Supportive Patrick Brewer, in every universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:53:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25281925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Streetlamp_Sunset/pseuds/Streetlamp_Sunset
Summary: “David,” he said, surprised at how even his voice came out. “You are not damaged goods.” He slid his hand through the back of David’s hair and it was an awkward angle, cupping his jaw like this, upside down. His fingers were tucked under David’s chin, thumb rubbing smooth circles in the skin behind his ear.“You, David Rose, are my very favorite person.” David frowned, trying to look away. “No,” Patrick said, “look at me, please.” He did, reluctantly. “You are so strong, and brave, and generous.” Patrick pressed a kiss to David’s forehead with each word. He pulled back some to look him in the eye. “You are who you are, because of your past, not in spite of it.” He ran his thumb over the shell of David’s ear.I love you.“You deserve kindness, David, you deserve to be treated well.”David is still hurting over the events of the barbecue; Patrick tries to show him that he is deserving of love.Can be read as a stand alone.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: Always Be My Baby [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1820086
Comments: 12
Kudos: 96





	And I'm Terrified, But The Truth Is This

**Author's Note:**

> Smut starts under the line if you want to skip right to it.
> 
> Title from Finally // beautiful stranger by Halsey.

“Burn in a fire, Alexis,” David snapped. Patrick caught the pillow he threw at the doorway before it could fall on the motel room floor.

“Not Alexis, actually,” he said, setting it back on his bed. David peaked out from beneath his arm, squinting up at Patrick in the dim light bleeding through the curtains. He pushed himself to a seated position, taking Patrick in.

“Your hair looks much better like that,” he said, gesturing to Patrick’s curls. The words made Patrick’s stomach turn. David looked wrecked, hair limp, dark circles under his eyes. David pulled the pillow into his lap, crossing his arms over it as he waited for a response. 

“Thank you, David,” Patrick said softly. David frowned. He bit his lip, turning to look away from the light. 

“You can go,” he said, quietly, like it was the last thing he wanted, “I’m not exactly great company right now.” David’s hands twisted in his sweater; he looked like he had been living in it for the past few days. Patrick sat tentatively at the foot of his bed. 

“Stevie told me about the Barbecue,” he said. Blindsided, was the exact word she had used. Moira had called it an ambush. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, David.” Patrick itched to reach for him, to hold him close. He dug his nails into his palms. 

“Why wouldn’t he just tell me?” David asked, voice ragged. “He told me to trust people, you know,” David said, turning his rings with sharp, agitated motions. He pulled the pillow against his stomach, “Why didn’t he trust me?” Patrick felt more than a little nauseated that any version of himself had hurt David to that degree. 

“He should have,” Patrick said emphatically. He’d told his David about Rachel the night Stevie lent them her place. 

“Yeah, well,” David turned to him, cheeks wet with tears, “he obviously didn’t, so.” All the things Patrick wanted to say got tangled in his throat. He felt like he was choking on David’s sorrow; this didn’t feel like something he could fix. Even so, there was no way he could leave him in this state. 

“Stevie got us a hotel suite for the night,” Patrick said. “Will you come with me?” David frowned in consideration, plucking a hair from the blanket. “We can order room service,” he added.

“Okay, fine,” David said. He dragged himself out of bed to pack, “but only because Stevie’s paying.” The drive to the hotel was quiet and tense, one of David’s car playlist filling the space between them. They paused in the [doorway](https://www.montecarloinns.com/uploads/1/1/5/4/115474359/barrie-hartdr-160_1_orig.jpg) of [the](https://www.montecarloinns.com/uploads/1/1/5/4/115474359/main-barrie-hartdr-161_orig.jpg) [room](https://q-cf.bstatic.com/images/hotel/max1280x900/230/230141960.jpg). 

“Oh my god,” David said, hand tangling in a balloon string as he tried to smack it out of the way. He whirled to face Patrick, “Did you know about this?”

“I didn’t, David, I swear,” Patrick said, setting their luggage next to the desk. 

He hurried to gather all the love themed decorations and toss them in the corner. David shut the door, laughing at his attempt to hide them away. Patrick looked over when the sound turned a little hysterical. David was fixated on a white streamer he had pulled from the ceiling.

“Patrick,” he said, face crumpling. “I can’t-” he trailed off, biting his lips and crossing his arms over his chest. Patrick made his way around the hot tub in three quick strides. David melted into him. “Patrick,” he said, anguish clouding his voice.

“I’m right here, baby,” Patrick said, rubbing a hand over David’s back. David tucked his face against Patrick’s neck and clutched fistfuls of his sweater. He wasn’t crying, just shaking in Patrick’s arms, breath coming out in harsh gasps. 

“Here, breathe with me, David,” Patrick said, emphasizing his own. David copied him, pressing his forehead against the thick muscle where Patrick’s shoulder met his neck. “That’s it.” He could feel David’s hands vibrate with tension where they were digging into his back. “Let it out.”

David didn’t relax, exactly, but the energy drained from him the longer they stood there until he was slumped against Patrick’s body. Patrick had one arm curled completely around his back, the other on his hip. He felt like if he took them away David might collapse right there on the floor. 

“I’ve got you, David,” he said, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into his skin. David hummed in response, hands clenching and unclenching over his back. The motion reminded Patrick of the small grey tabby they’d had growing up, purring and kneading as it curled up on top of him. 

“What do you need, sweetheart?” Patrick asked. His hair was greasy where it was tucked under Patrick’s chin. Based on what Alexis told him, David hadn’t done much more than cry and eat snacks for the past few days. “Are you hungry? We could order room service like we talked about.” 

David pulled back, straightening his spine with a wince, “Um, I’m actually feeling really gross all of the sudden.” He shot a furtive glance at the hot tub. “I think I’m going to go rinse off,” he said, “can you order us something?” 

“Of course,” Patrick said, squeezing his hip lightly before moving to find the menu. David grabbed his toiletries from his overnight bag and headed to the bathroom.

“Pizza or breakfast?” Patrick called. His David always wanted carbs after an anxiety attack, to feel warm and full.

“Pizza,” David answered, turning on the shower. Patrick picked up the phone.

“Pepperoni?” he confirmed as it dialed.

“Obviously.” 

The staff member who brought their meal up seemed overly invested in their romantic experience, but Patrick managed to usher her away without accepting the Just Married crowns.

While David was in the bathroom, Patrick turned on the water for the hot tub and closed the curtains. He dished out their food and opened the bottle of complimentary champagne. By the time he heard the water shut off he had everything set up, meal waiting on the ledge of the tub. Patrick sat in his boxer and t-shirt, swirling his feet through the warm water. It glowed a soft white, the only source of light in the room.

“Well, this is cozy,” David said appreciatively as he walked out of the bathroom in his towel. He’d done his hair, but he didn’t bother with clothes, coming to sit next to Patrick. He set his toiletry bag on the ledge behind them.

“Feeling better?” Patrick asked, passing David his plate. David shrugged as he chewed a mouthful of pizza. 

“Yeah, I get these heart attacks-” 

“Panic attacks,” Patrick corrected gently, “I know, David.” 

“Right, that,” David said. Patrick bumped their feet together in the water. “I get these panic attacks sometimes.” He took a sip of champagne. “Ted says they’re like, brought on by stress, and I have been pretty stressed the past few days so,” David gestured over to the doorway. “Um, thank you, for holding me. You didn’t have to do that.” He looked away, reaching behind them to grab another slice from the box.

“David, that’s not something you need to thank me for,” Patrick said. He swallowed down all the things he wanted to say that David wasn’t ready for. “I wouldn’t have let you go through that alone.” 

David shrugged, shoulders hunching, “Okay, but, don’t feel like you have to, I don’t know, take care of me or whatever.” He tore the crust off his pizza, taking a bite. “I don’t want to be a burden,” he added after a moment. Patrick’s chest welled with sadness, but David sounded resigned.

Patrick slid an arm around his waist, “Is this okay?” David leaned against his shoulder, nodding. “Holding you is never a burden, David,” Patrick said. He gladly finished the rest of his pizza one handed. Neither of them drank much of their champagne, emotions running as high as they were. 

“This looks nice,” David said, sweeping his foot through the water. Patrick had left the red and white rose petals there, everything else contained safely under a duvet in the corner. 

David’s voice was soft when he spoke, tinged with nostalgia and regret, “I used to have parties in hotel suites so big they gave you a map to find your way around. I think the last one we stayed in had three whirlpools, maybe four if you count the one on the terrace. But people mostly just used if for like, sketchy outdoor hookups.” David brushed his cheek over Patrick’s shoulder before pulling away. 

“I woke up there a few times, but that wasn’t,” David trailed off. “It wasn’t this.” He unwrapped his towel and slid into the water. 

Patrick folded it, tapping the back of David’s head, “lift.” He slid the makeshift pillow under his neck. David hummed, rolling his neck and shoulders experimentally. His eyes slid closed.

“‘S comfy, thanks,” David said, reaching up to curl his fingers around Patrick’s wrist. His thumb brushed along the tendon in his arm before he let go, floating in the water. Patrick shifted so he had one leg on either side of David.

“You’re welcome, baby,” he said, bending over to press a kiss to David’s forehead. He slid one of his hands through David’s hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. David pushed into it arching his spine. He let out a soft sound of pleasure.

“You don’t have to do all that,” David said, gesturing back at him. Water dripped from his fingers, sliding down Patrick’s thigh.

“Do you want me to stop?” Patrick asked, hand pausing. “Does it not feel good?”

“No, it does,” David said, sighing, “It feels really fucking good, Patrick. But you know I’m a sure thing, right? You don’t have to do all of this,” he made a sweeping gesture at the room in front of them. 

“Just bringing me here, honestly, was enough. No,” David let out a bitter laugh. “Actually, I probably would’ve let you fuck me at the motel. You don’t have to do all the holding, and feeding, and touching me soft, and saying nice things.” 

David sighed, tipping his head back to look at him, “You’re the best person I’ve ever met. And I’m damaged goods. I know that, okay, so you don’t have to try so hard. You can fuck me whenever you want.” 

Patrick wasn’t sure where, exactly, but somewhere between ‘sure thing’ and ‘damaged goods’, he stopped being able to breath properly. 

“David,” he said, surprised at how even his voice came out. “You are not damaged goods.” He slid his hand through the back of David’s hair and it was an awkward angle, cupping his jaw like this, upside down. His fingers were tucked under David’s chin, thumb rubbing smooth circles in the skin behind his ear. 

“You, David Rose, are my very favorite person.” David frowned, trying to look away. “No,” Patrick said, “look at me, please.” He did, reluctantly. “You are so strong, and brave, and generous.” Patrick pressed a kiss to David’s forehead with each word. He pulled back some to look him in the eye. “You are who you are, because of your past, not in spite of it.” He ran his thumb over the shell of David’s ear. _I love you._ “You deserve kindness, David, you deserve to be treated well.” 

David shrunk forward, drawing his knees up to his chest, “You really believe all of that, don’t you?” Patrick nodded before he realized David couldn’t see him.

“I wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t true.” He wrung his hands in the empty space between his legs. He lowered himself into the water where David had been. David glanced over his shoulder, wry grin on his face.

“Your clothes are getting wet,” he said, watching water slosh over Patrick’s t-shirt.

“They’ll dry,” Patrick said. He hardly felt them. “Can I hold you, please, David?” David lay back against Patrick’s chest, Patrick’s bent legs bracketing him on either side. 

“If you wanted to touch my hair again you could,” David said quietly. Patrick reached behind himself to wipe his hand off on the towel, before moving to do as David had asked. He slid his fingers through David’s hair, thumb rubbing small circles at the base of his skull. David moaned lightly at the pressure, his head lolling forward. Patrick wiped his other hand dry on the towel and used it to massage the tension out of David’s neck. 

* * *

David slid forward as his body went lax. “Mmm, sorry,” he grimaced, sitting up straighter. He looked uncomfortable now, toes curled into the bottom of the tub for purchase. Patrick hitched David’s legs up over his thighs. He bent his knees and planted his feet, so they wouldn’t slip. 

David hummed, pleased with the change of position if the way he spread his legs wider over Patrick’s was any indication. Patrick wrapped an arm around his chest, other hand still brushing through his hair. David’s half hard cock lay just under the surface of the water and Patrick watched it twitch as he scratched blunt nails over David’s scalp.

David turned his head to press a kiss to the corner of Patrick’s jaw. He mouthed at the skin of Patrick’s throat, leaving a trail of open mouth kisses down his neck. Patrick groaned, hand tightened David’s hair. He tugged lightly and David let out a breathless gasp. He moved back up Patrick’s neck, nipping at his ear.

“There’s lube in my toiletry bag,” David said, nodding to the ledge behind them. Patrick reached over the edge of the tub; he held up the two he’d found there. “It’s the pink one,” David said, shifting so he was higher, lap just out of the water. He shivered as the cool air met his cock.

“Do you want me to do something with this, David?” Patrick asked. David nodded, whimpering as Patrick trailed a hand down his chest and then back up before he could reach his waist. “Ask, David,” Patrick said against his ear. “I need to know what you want, sweetheart.”

“All those things you were saying about what I deserve,” David said, turning to tuck his face into Patrick’s neck, “touch me like they’re true.” Patrick pressed a kiss to the side of his head. If his eyes were burning, it was from the chlorine.

Patrick’s hand slid from David’s hair to wrap around his cock. He used the hand on David’s chest to toy with his nipples as he stroked him. David whined as he pinched and twisted, rolling his hips into Patrick’s fist. Patrick dragged a thumb over his nipple, David tipped his head back onto his shoulder, spine arching. Patrick stroked his cock until he could do little more than pant and writhe in his lap.

Patrick glanced at the clock, they had been in longer than was generally considered safe. He knew David was in no state to tell if he was overheating right now and Patrick was mostly underwater.

“We’ve got to get out now,” Patrick said. David whined as Patrick’s hands left him, but he allowed Patrick to help him to his feet. Patrick grabbed David’s towel and turned to hand it to him, but David was transfixed on Patrick’s chest. “What is it, David,” Patrick asked, moving to towel him off.

“You followed me,” David said, reaching out to curl a hand over Patrick’s shoulder. His thumb slid between the collar of his wet t-shirt. “You followed me into the water with you fucking clothes on, because you thought I wanted a hug.” He frowned, glancing up at Patrick, “Who does that?” Patrick laughed, cupping David’s jaw. Standing on the ledge outside the tub gave him a few inches on David. It was strange, being the taller one.

“It just felt right in the moment,” Patrick said, pressing a kiss to David’s forehead, because he could. “Was that not correct?” He asked teasingly, “Do you want me to take them off?”

David hummed in consideration, sliding his hand from Patrick’s shoulder to thumb his nipple through the fabric. His other hand cupped Patrick’s cock where the tight, wet material clung to it. Patrick groaned as David hooked his fingers under the waistband.

“I think that would be best, yes,” David said, sliding them over Patrick’s hips. Patrick tugged his t-shirt over his head and stepped out of the tub. David watched him pull his clothes off with a dazed expression.

“Go get on the bed, David,” Patrick said, pressing a kiss to David’s cheek before stepping away to grab the lube. David lay back on the bed, feet dangling over the edge. He stroked his cock while he watched Patrick move around the room. Patrick stepped between his legs, hands settling on his knees. Patrick trailed his fingertips along David’s inner thigh. David shivered at the sensation, hips falling open. 

“Patrick,” he whined, rolling his hips impatiently as Patrick’s finger’s paused deliberately at his innermost thigh before trailing back down his legs. Patrick grinned, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to the bend of his knee. He curled his hands around David’s hips, gripping them tightly. David’s hands moved from his cock to hold Patrick’s wrists.

“Is this okay, David?” Patrick asked, thumbs sliding along his hip bones. David glanced down at him and nodded.

“Very okay.” He wrapped his fingers tighter around Patrick’s wrist. Patrick pressed another kiss to his knee before moving to lick and kiss his way up David’s leg.

“Oh my god,” David breathed as Patrick mouthed at his inner thigh. He sucked the skin there, David’s hips pressing into his hands as they bucked involuntarily. Patrick held him to the mattress, moving to leave a matching mark on the other side. David whined as Patrick bypassed his cock completely. Patrick nipped lightly at the tender skin, before laving the mark with his tongue.

Patrick rest his chin on David’s hip, squeezing his hips lightly to get his attention, “Did you clean out when you showered?” David nodded. Patrick turned his head to brush a kiss over David’s knuckles, his hip, his stomach. David thrust up against his hands. Patrick held his hips down, glancing up to meet his eyes. David let out a pleased hum as the pressure kept him mostly immobile. He smirked at Patrick, repeating the motion. Patrick turned to suck along the hollow of his hip.

“Fuck,” David hissed as Patrick’s mouth moved further inward. Patrick nuzzled the dark line of hair trailing down his body. He licked the head of David’s cock, tongue dipping into the slit. David moaned, hands clenching and unclenching as he tried to thrust up into it. Patrick nosed down his shaft and along his balls. He licked the seam with a flat tongue, sucking lightly. He tried to take one of his hands away, but David whimpered, finger’s tightening on Patrick’s wrist. “Stay, please,” David said, biting his lip.

“Okay, but if you want my hands there I need you to turn over,” Patrick said, thumbs moving in small arcs over his skin. David shifted so he was on his knees, chest pressed to the mattress. “Wider, David.” Patrick tapped his inner thigh, pressing his fingers into a hickey. David moaned, turning to muffle the sound against the bedding. He spread his legs, exposing his hole. 

“That’s good, baby,” Patrick said, sliding his hands over David's ass to hold his hips. David reached back for Patrick’s wrists as Patrick leaned forward to press a kiss to the spot where his ass met his thigh. David whined as Patrick moved closer to his hole, leaving a line of dark marks with his mouth. 

Patrick nipped lightly at his ass before dragging his tongue over David’s rim. David tried to push back onto his tongue, but Patrick held him still. He licked David's hole with firm passes of his tongue. David’s thighs shook, cock hanging dark and heavy between his legs “David, touch your dick.”

“You’ll keep your hand there?” David confirmed, a little breathless.

“I’ll stay right here, David,” Patrick said, squeezing his hips. He moved back to lap at David’s hole. He heard the sound of the lube cap and then David’s hand on his cock. David moaned and Patrick listened to the speed of his hand pick up as he slid his tongue past David’s rim. 

“Patrick,” David whimpered, “that’s so, fuck, that’s so good.” Patrick tugged him back by the hips, tongue thrusting into his hole. “Oh my god, don’t stop,” David gasped. He let out a string of breathy moans, nails biting into Patrick’s wrist. “Patrick,” David cried as he came, spine arching as he slid his hand over his cock. Patrick licked him through his orgasm, pulling back when David’s hand fell away from his wrist. 

“You okay, baby?” Patrick asked, guiding him to lay flat on his stomach. David hummed, nodding. He glanced back in Patrick’s direction, his cock jut heavy and dark from his hips.

“I’m not moving any time soon,” David said, watching Patrick stroke himself with half lidded eyes, “but if you want to do something about that you can.” He spread his cum along the curve of his ass. 

“God, David,” Patrick said, dick twitching as he watched it drip down his skin. He grabbed the bottle of lube from where it had been discarded at the edge of the towel and slicked his cock. Patrick moved to kneel over him, brushing his cheek over David’s shoulder. David hummed in response as Patrick lowered himself, weight pressing David to the mattress.

He braced a hand on either side of David’s chest and thrust into the tight space between his thighs. David moaned softly as Patrick’s dick slid over the sensitive marks he had sucked into his skin. He clenched the muscles in his legs, tightening around him. Patrick groaned, dropping his forehead to rest against David’s shoulder while he fucked him. 

“You feel so good, David,” Patrick said as his cock began to pulse with release. He turned his head to muffle the rest of his words against David’s skin. He curled around David as he came, allowing the full weight of his body to rest on his back for a moment. David sighed and reached out to twine their fingers together. Patrick forced himself to roll over onto his back. 

David grumbled at the loss of contact, throwing a leg over his and tucking himself under Patrick’s arm. He nuzzled the dip of Patrick’s shoulder, yawning against his chest. Patrick carded a hand through his hair.

“David, don’t fall asleep, we still need to go clean up,” Patrick said, brushing his thumb over David’s temple.

“Shh,” David said, patting his arm lightly, “later. I’m comfy here.”

“David,” Patrick sighed and shifted to get up. David tensed almost imperceptibly, Patrick lay back down. “What’s wrong, baby?” 

“That,” David said, frowning as he gestured towards his face, “you being nice, calling me ridiculous pet names. I’m not going to get this again, so just let me lay here for a minute.” Patrick brought the hand that wasn’t in David’s hair to curl around his waist.

“David, I know you’re upset with Patrick right now, but when you work things out-”

“I’m not upset with Patrick,” David interrupted. “I don’t, um, I just don’t think it’s going to work out.” 

“David,” Patrick sighed. David made a small, hurt sound. His face was wet against Patrick’s chest.

“Stop saying David like that,” he said, turning away to curl up on his side. “I fucked up,” He said quietly. “I shouldn’t have told him to give me space.” David let out a small sob, “I don’t want space anymore, Patrick.” 

Patrick shifted, wrapping an arm around David’s waist and tucking a knee between his legs. David took a shaky breath, intertwining their fingers.

“It was okay for you to ask for space, sweetheart,” Patrick said, pressing a kiss to the side of David’s head. “You needed time to process the situation.” He squeezed David's hand lightly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” They lay there, breathing together, while David calmed in his arms.

David let out a tired sigh, “I feel gross now, let’s just go shower.” He wriggled out of Patrick’s arms to grab his toiletry bag.

“He’s in love with you,” Patrick said, following him. David froze halfway to the bathroom. 

“He is not,” David turned to face him, “because if he, you know, felt that way he would’ve told me.” David said, “He is an alarmingly open person, did you know he sang at me for our open mic night last month. The whole town was there, there was an acoustic guitar situation.” Patrick pressed his lips together to keep from laughing.

“Mmm, yeah, I'm kind of thinking that was him telling you he was in love with you, David,” Patrick said, moving past him to turn on the shower. He brushed his teeth, waiting for the water to heat up. 

“Oh my god,” David said, gesturing wildly, “why would he do that?” He stepped beneath the spray. Patrick joined him, laughing softly as he watched David realize exactly why Patrick hadn’t told him he loved him outright. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you home?” Patrick asked. They had gotten dressed and settled against the headboard of the bed. David shook his head. 

“No, I would really prefer we do this in a room I don’t share with my entire family,” he said. David rolled his eyes at the expression on Patrick’s face. “I can hear you worrying from here.” He kissed Patrick's cheek. “I’ll be fine, honestly, Patrick. I’m sure I’ve had worse.” David didn’t look like he believed his own words.

“You deserve more, David” Patrick said. David cupped his cheek, searching his face.

“I believe that you believe that,” he conceded, rings warm on Patrick’s throat. Patrick turned to kiss his palm. David smiled, brushing his thumb along his cheek. “Goodbye, Patrick.”

“Goodbye, David.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so, so much for reading!!  
> ❤️ Sunset


End file.
